How do you know if you’re hiding or not?
When They Don’t Remember You
Moving back to Minneapolis a couple of years ago, I was pretty excited to reconnect with some old “friends” and maybe even some from high school. Boy oh boy, did that excitement come to an abrupt sizzle out?!
I came from a small town in WI and grew up K-12 with my small class of 97. I was excited to connect with someone from my past, a high school classmate, who lived in the Twin Cities. She was glad to set up a time to meet for some coffee. I was looking forward to the memories and story swap… and it was wonderful but also disappointing when she admitted about fifteen minutes into chatting that she didn’t remember me. Of course, she knew who I was, but no memories of us interacting. She wasn’t the only one, either. I connected with a few people from high school with the same results.
Disappointing.
My plan to be a fly on the wall and camouflage had worked… TOO well. Now it’s like I didn’t exist back then, or at least was invisible and inaudible. This was the eye-opening experience I needed to realize it was time to be seen AND heard! I could no longer let myself blend into the background, something that was so easy for me to do.
From Leaning On to Leaning In
Marrying before college and sharing the same program with my new husband it was easy for me to slip into couple’s mode. You know, the one where you lose your individual identity because you are both always showing up to the same classes and events at the same times as a two-some. At the time, I was happy leaning on Avery to always know that he would be by my side and include him in every aspect of my life. But as I got older, I recognized the danger of leaning on and never being an individual… I was playing small in the shadows of someone else’s life. Why? Because I was afraid to be called out for being seen.
After reading the book Playing Big by Tara Mohr, I recognized that by playing small I was standing in my own way from success; preventing myself from the life I wanted to lead. The next two words of wisdom have helped guide me to lean into myself again.
1. Get Comfortable with the Uncomfortable
The only way to grow was to step outside of my own comfort zone and push past to new heights. Being uncomfortable or even a little scared needed to become my new norm.
2. Challenge Yourself
Assessing my dreams and goals allowed me to put a destination on my ever-changing roadmap. Setting up small goals along the way helped me build the confidence I needed to persist.
Playing Big From Here on Out
Life has changed a lot since that day in the coffee shop or in those college lecture rooms. I committed to stepping into and owning everything I am and all that I want to be. I am an award-winning designer, a marketing creative, a multi-business entrepreneur, and a coach to help others in their journey. Life is imperfect and there are plenty of unforeseen challenges along the way that force me to stop and reassure myself that I am not going back to “playing it safe”. To playing it small. I am a big girl now and I plan on staying that way no matter how much work I have to put into myself.
Are you ready to do the work? If you are and need a helping hand along the way, schedule a 1:1 coaching session with me and together we’ll help you find your voice again!
