Unlock Your Inner Peace: Overcoming Anxiety and Fear of Rejection with Power Statements, Accepting Compliments, and Showing Up
When your anxiety speaks, it’s only to you; those perfectly pressed lips don’t dare breathe a word of the ideas dancing around that gorgeous brain of yours. So many times, we think we have nothing to offer, nothing to add to the conversation, or a conversation to start of our own because we have been trained to believe we are not worthy of being heard. We cannot add value to a situation, or our thoughts are redundant or unintelligent. But nothing could be further from the truth. We all have something to say. We must beat our anxiety to the punch and overcome our fear of rejection.
Finding Solitude in your Silence
As some of you may know, for years, my life’s goal was to be a chameleon – invisible to the naked eye. I didn’t want anyone to notice me, let alone hear me… so I hid within myself. Voice and all. Blending in was easy for me as long as I stayed silent. Truth, I loved to avoid rejection and confrontation. I was much more comfortable supporting others that lost the confidence to share about myself – I felt like I had nothing to say. But I did. I do. And so do you.
I found my inner peace solitude within the realms of silence and clarity of self-reflection and confrontation. By holding our thoughts hostage from being communicated is like jailing our souls from living. We let our fear or anxiety of others’ responses stop us from stepping outside our mental convo that demands attention.
Instead, we hunker down and tell ourselves defeating messages like, “That doesn’t even make sense. You have no idea what you’re talking about,” or “You aren’t smart enough or informed enough on the subject to comment.” We force our inner child into the corner and shame them for having creative thoughts. This is not solitude…not peaceful. It’s self-abuse and stops you from creating the life you want.
“And always remember that people’s judgments about you are none of your business. Lastly, remember what W. C. Fields had to say on this point: “It ain’t what they call you; it’s what you answer to.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
Switching things up: Be seen…no more hiding
I think for me, it took realizing that others were forgetting who I was, and what I did because of my fear of being “seen” and “heard.” If no one else saw me, did I really even exist? The answer of course, is yes but it didn’t feel that way. I had to decide what kind of life did I want. What was I willing to do differently to let people outside my small group of friends and family see the real me? It took focus and courage to build my inner strength to overcome that doubt, to gather true confidence from within that I was proud of. This takes time and for me, I took baby steps at first the larger leaps of faith.
One of the ways I found confidence was in daily meditation and creating what I wanted for myself – repeating my power statement, “I am Important & My Voice Matters” This statement inspires me to show up every day as me, even if I’m scared. Why? Because “I am worthy of being heard.” “I matter enough to speak up.” “I believe enough in myself to share my ideas and thoughts with others in the room.” Creating affirmation from your power statement work on a subconscious level. Start using power statements daily, whether aloud, written, or internally. But the fact is, they work – they feed our soul the right words we need to hear to make changes we didn’t even know we could make.
Another thing that helped reshape my esteem was to accept compliments instead of resisting or rejecting them. How did I do that? By responding a few ways; parroting back the compliment “You create also!” (avoidance of compliment), Finding something similar to complement back to them “Thanks, I love your shoes”. Instead, the kind way to respond is “ Thank you, I am so honored you recognize the way I show my creativity.” You honor the person who gave you the compliment this way.
“How we feel about ourselves is framed around what we accept to be the truth. Don’t talk poorly about yourself – ever. Not even when you think you are being funny. If you find yourself, creating a narrative about yourself that isn’t encouraging, stop and think about why? How else can I reframe this idea/thought/comment?
It’s time to speak your truth and let your anxiety show up when it’s helpful, not hurtful to you. I encourage you to find strength in the silence and believe that you are amazing and deserve to be seen, heard, and creative.
